Keara was born in Boulder Colorado on Sept. 4th 1975. She joined her brother Wayne and sister Lauren who were 8 and 6 years old. Keara was a beautiful baby with dark hair, blue eyes and long dark eyelashes. Lauren decided that Keara was her baby and didn't like it when friends would hold her. Keara made her prescence known from the very beginning. She had a strong personality and it was impossible to ignore her. She had a temper but was always so sweet and loving. She loved animals especially cats and even pretended to be one for awhile. When Keara was 2 1/2 her sister Leigh came along. Keara was a risk taker and had such an adventurous spirit. At times some of her adventures were scary because she didn't recognize danger and just plunged ahead. When she was a teenager she began to participate in risky behavior whch included drugs and sex at an early age. She became pregnant with her son Justin when she was only 18 and became a mother at 18. She married her high school sweetheart Jason and was so in love with her little baby Justin. Four years later Her daughter Victoria came along. In the meantime her sister Leigh had a child Seanathon and he and Victoria loved each other so much. Keara started to talk to me about the problems in their relationship and unfortunately things didn"t work out and they separated.
When Keara was around 11 years old I began working in the field of domestic violence first as a volunteer and then as the shelter project coordinator and then as the diretor of a shelter for battered women and their children. I was interested in this field because Keara's Dad was both emotionally verbally and then ultimately abusive to me. I tried to educate my children about domestic violence. During the last 91/2 years in the field I also worked with perpetrators of domestic violence. When Keara and Jason separated she started using drugs and became addicted to crack cocaine. I was terrified . I could see her personality changes and her loss of weight and her complete distraction from alll that was good and healthy in her life. She ensded up stealing money from her job and afterwards made a serious suicide attempt. After that she went into a 4 month outpatient program in Colo. and lived with her sister Lauren and brother in law Karl. After returning to NC she immediately started using crack again. After several talks with her I let her know that she could not continue to live with me and use drugs but she was hooked. I asked her to leave my house and helped make arrangements for her to go into a treatment program. While in treatment she met the man that ended up murdering her. She was at such a vuknerable point in her life and was hungry for love since her self esteem was at rock bottom. She was not proud of the person she had become. This man came into her life at a time she was so vulnerable and her judgement was poor. Keara managed to get clean and stay clean which she was so proud of. Unfortunately D her boyfriend did not . Every time he would relapse she would leave but he always managed to win her back. Keara was a loving caring, nuturing person who was also naive in her blind trust. The first time Keara left he threatened and abused her physically. After that time there were many more incidents of abuse that we, her family, didn"t know about. I suspected that the abuse was continuing and I begged Keara not to go back with him. Bt that time she was so beaten down and based on what I now know I believe she was terrified about what he might do to her.
Keara made the decision to go back with D and they started living together at the end of February 2006 and she was dead by April 5 2006. The way she was killed was brutal and as her mother I have struggled to try to maintain my sanity. The pain is like a knife in my chest and I miss her constantly. It also has been devastating for her brother , sisters and the many other people who's lives Keara influenced. At the time of her death she was sponsoring other women to help them maintain their sobriety and was so excited that she had found what she beklieved was her calling in life. I have tried to carry out some of the work she wanted to do by educating other women about domestic violence.
There are so many memories that I have of Keara. She was playful and fun and had such an exuberant and bubbly personality. She loved to kid around and play practical jokes. She loved her chilldren and family dearly. In a lot of ways she was too naive and trusting and ultimately it cost her her very life. She loved helping people and I belive she thought she could help D. He was beyond help. Since her murder we found out that he had a long history of domestic violence and other crimes. He should have been locked up long ago.
I am writing this for those of you who are in a violent relationship. I know that Keara never believed she would end up dead. I also want family members to be aware of how this can affect anyone in any walk of life. Having worked in the DV field for 20 years you would think that this could not happen to one of my children. As a result Of Keara's murder I also lost my job. My other children have suffered greatly and continue to do so and Keara's children had their Mommy torn from their lives and have had to deal with the horrible way she died. It was brutal.
I and Her children have been going to counseling for over a year and a half now, and I honestly don't know how and when I can ever feel joy in my life again. One thing that I hope will help me to heal is to know that I can help to educate victims of Domestic Violence and their families.
Darien Russell,
Keara's Mom
