Justin is about to turn 13 and I can't believe you are not here. It seems like yesterday you were having his 2nd birthday party for him. I know you are watching over him. I love you, Lauren.
I was thinking tonight about the time when I wernt to the emergency room. You had been trying to get in touch with me and coudn't and called everyone trying to find me. You finally called my cell phone and were so upset and worried about me. You came to the hospital and held my hand. I remember feeling like you were my mother and that you were taking care of me. You had such a wonderful caring heart and everyone who I have met and continue to meet says that about you. You toucheed so many lives Keara and helped so many people. You were and are such a beautiful soul. You deserved to live a good and happy life and it is so hard to deal with the fact that you are no longer here. I would give anything to turn back the hands of time and change the outcome of your life, I believe that you are still helping people. They can see themselves in you and I hope I am able to help save other women's lives by telling your story. I want to do that for you and them and I hope that you are able to see the impact your life and death has had on so many people. I love you so much and you are constantly on my mind and in my heart. Love, your Mama
Karl and I went to the park yesterday and there is a group of men from Afghanistan there that fly kites. It reminded me of when I sent you the book "The Kite Runner". I read it and really liked it so I ordered one for you. You read it at work when it was slow and I remember you telling me that a customer came in and said she was reading the same book. You really liked the book too. I think you read it in just one or two days. Tonight I went on a website I had not been on in a while and when I went to checkout, your name and address was the shipping address. It was the site I had bought that book from and had it shipped to you. That was the last thing I ordered from them. What a strange coincidence.
I love you and miss you so much!
Last night I was watching TV and they showed fireworks on the program. It brought me back to the time when you and Leigh were young and we went to a lake in Arkansas where they had fireworks over the lake. We were lying on a blanket looking up at the and you were SO excited and you watched them with such joy and wonder. I always remember your exuberance for life, and how you jumped into anything and everything. I feel you with me all the time, and I love you so much.
Mom gave me your grey sweatshirt and I was hanging it in my closet yesterday. It made me think of when I saw you last at the fair in 2005. I gave you $100 and told you to buy something nice for yourself. You didn't want to take the money and told me that I always do to much. I blew you off like I always did and ignored your protests. You came back a couple of days later and told me that you had gone to the store and bought yourself an outfit with the money. I am pretty sure it was some kind of jogging pants and hoodie set. You were so cute and I just remember you thanking me. I wish I could have seen you in the outfit. I miss you so much!
