I was thinking last night about the birthday party you had for Justin at the church when he turned 2. He was so cute and you were such a good Mom. I can picture you there in your blue dress with your hair pulled back running around making sure everything was good. It was a fun party! Justin had a pinata outside and I remember you laughing as you watched him and the other little kids try to hit it. What a good day and a happy memory that was. I think this picture might have been taken later that day.
I remember all the Christmases that I spent with you. When you were very young, the first Christmas after Leigh was born we got you a robot and I remeber your sitting on the couch looking at it in fear. There were not many things you were afraid of after that which was sometimes a good thing and sometimes not. As Christmas approaches I miss you more and more . I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that someone took your life from you and from us. I thought I would spend many more Christmases with you. I have been asking for a sign that you are still around me and tonight when I went in my bedroom the candle that I got at a gathering of parents of murdered children was lit and I didn't light it. Did you? There is such an emptiness in the chain of our family that has been broken. Everything feels different and I find myself questioning the meaning of life and what I'm supposed to be doing now. I want it to be something that honors you and helps other people. Right now though I am just trying to get from one day to the next. I miss you more than I know how to express in words. I hope that you know that and knew it while you were here. I love you Keara. You were beautiful inside an out and I hope you are truly in the arms of the angels and have found some comfort. Love, Mom
It is getting close to Christmas and again I want to be with people who understand this terrible grief. I am not sure I can go to family get together I don't feel like celebrating. It just isn't the same without you here. My heart is broken in so many pieces. I need to find a reason to continue to go oh. I love you so much.
I remember how much you always loved to get dressed in costumes every Halloween even as an adult. I think you got a bigger kick out of it than the kids! You came up with some really scary outfits! I miss your playfulness and fun loving spirit.
Mom
Here we are at Rock City! Don't we look thrilled?
