I took Justin and Victoria to the Comfort Zone Camp again this year and they both enjoyed it a lot. They also both took some big steps in their healing process. They want to go again next year.Yesterday when I got home I sat out on the deck and a butterfly landed on my arm and then moved to my leg. I got up for a minute and it landed on the chair. I put my hand down and it got on my hand. This may sound crazy but I bent down and kissed it and it just stayed there. Then it flew on my glasses and perched on the rim flapping it's wings. It stayed there for awhile and then I put my hand up and it sat on my hand again. It stayed with me for about a half hour. I went in the house for awhile and when I went back out it came right back to my hand. I have to believe it was a sign from you. I love you Keara and I miss you so much.
Another lertter: "Dear Mom, How are you? I am fine. That is a funny picture of you in the paper.I have been listening to the paper and every time lean on me comes on I start crying because that became my favorite song at home and i use to turn the stereo up loud and you didn't make me turn it down so that song reminds me of you.Leigh pulled her tooth yesterday and I pulled my tooth last night. Leigh and Phaedra saw the tooth fairy. She came about ten minutes after we went to bed. Well I better let you go now. I love and miss you. Bye. Love, Keara. Sorry so sloppy"
Here is another letter from you: Dear Mom, I miss you so much. I don't think I can stay here much longer. Please come and get me. I tried to call you a few minutes ago but you weren't home. I called you yesterday but you were at a show. Please call me I need to talk to you. I think if I don't see you I am going to die. I love you so much. I can't wait to see you. Mom, please don't ever make me stay here this long. I won't be able to stand it. I have been looking at the pictures and just crying for you so much. I have been miserable without you. Well I better go. I love and miss you so so so so so so so so so so much. Bye with love and kisses, Keara. I won't ever be happy without you. I love you Mom.
Here is a letter you wrote to me when you were in Tenn.:" Dear Mom, Hi how are you? I am fine for the most part but having a lot of trouble with my eyes. I feel real Dizzy. But the other parts of me are really good. My face has cleared up a lot. Today we went to town to return some videos and our truck broke down. We had to call Hunter to come and get us. We drove around town for about an hour in Hunter's truck trying to find a kind of pipe to put in the truck. We were really sweaty. Then we went into a Mr. Gattir's restaurant and they got really pissed off because we weren't buying anything we were just sitting there waiting for Hunter to come. Now we are getting ready to go to bed. Mom I was meaning to ask you something. I was wondering if you would agree to let me cuss. Even if you don't I will probably end up cussing because dad lets us cuss. Before you start getting mad Dad said we should only cuss around the right people. Are we going to move again? Well I better go now. Bye I love you and miss you. Love, Keara. Sorry so sloppy."
Every day when I sit in my living room I have visions of you with children piled on top of you. I see you out on the deck and swinging on the hammock swing with Justine and Victoria. I see you modelig the clothes I bought you, twirling around and posing. I see you here with Jason and the kids at Christmas. I see you as the absolutly beautiful girl that you are and I miss you so much. I wish I could just reach out and touch you and kiss your beautiful face. I wish you were still here Keara. I love you so much .I know when we go to the beach this summer I will see you playing in the waves. You loved the ocean.I miss you so.
